Nobody Expects the Hereditary Chiefs

So I read an explanation as to what's actually going on out West where TransCanada (under some other name, which I don't feel like googling because my computer is so old and slow now and makes a loud whining noise when do anything fancy, like googling) and our federal government are busily pretending that building a pipeline will save us from having to work at the mall until we drop dead in the food court ordering a ten dollar smoothie that we thought was a dollar and a half because we were looking at the calorie menu, not the price menu.

Who knew about the hereditary chiefs, eh? Did you know about the hereditary chiefs? Because I didn't know about the hereditary chiefs. So maybe our government didn't, either. Justin Trudeau is only a dozen years younger than me so it's not like he learned from an entirely different curriculum than the one that didn't teach me anything about the hereditary chiefs. Certainly TransCanada executives couldn't have known about the hereditary chiefs or they wouldn't have wanted to build a pipeline on their property, like, like, Trespasser-Squatters R Us, or something.

I mean, what kind of parallel universe are we living in where Conservatives - those private everything lovers - are snarking about co-citizens standing up for private property rights against an elitist corporation backed by a, by a, by a gLIBERAL government?!

Cripes, these hereditary chiefs I just learned existed should be Conservative Canadians' wildest wet dream come true now that they know about them, which they will if someone shows them the same explanation I just read as to what's really going on out West.

I mean, I'm practically a Communist but all this standing up for private property rights out West makes me want to quit my job here in Ford Nation three weeks before it ends anyway so I can go out West where all the private property lovers are and join them in standing up for private property rights, too.

Except I'm afraid that if I do I'll come back to a pipeline TransCanada and its gLiberal government have built through my living room.