2020 Election Eve

I remember when the Bush/Gore thing was happening back in 2000 and I was so gung ho that Gore would ultimately be declared President of the United States. But my mother said, "No. They cheat. Bush will be President. Did you get the cheque? Don't just spend it on groceries. Buy new chairs."

And I was gung ho on Snowden. But my mother said, "No. He's a traitor. He'll go live in Russia. I just put a cheque in the mail. Don't just spend it on groceries. Buy something you want. You still haven't bought new chairs. Buy new chairs."

Etc etc etc with many in-betweens and follow-ups. Me: gung ho. Her: traitor, cheque, buy new chairs because in one of those catastrophic slips I once mentioned wanting new chairs.

(Full disclosure: I could want new chairs until I die of ancient age without ever having bought new chairs. My mother could want new chairs for as long as it took to her to make the ten minute drive to Sears. So we were related by blood but not really in any other way. Like, in a fair universe, she should have been able to trade me for another daughter and I should for sure have been able to trade her for another mother. Alas, the universe is not fair.)

(Fuller disclosure: I have a chair that I hate so much it's destroying my will to live and I fished it out of the garbage down the street.)