Waiting Out the Day

Walking to the bus late yesterday afternoon, on my way to the dentist, I could appreciate how someone might decide enough already, if this is my future, I'm cutting it short.👻

This is not to say I want to check out, but I increasingly understand how aging can become a bit tedious.💗

Bette Davis: "Old age ain't no place for sissies!" 

Sorry but it's a great quote and I'm a sissy so I can use it. I'm whining on the internet about a trip to the dentist, ffs. Of course, it did involve taking an OC Transpo bus, so there's that in my defence.👅

As you know, I despise the Freedom Convoy, a coalition of neo-nazi narcissists and brainwashed flag hags (I should've patented "flag hags" when I came up with it👿) but being a bit of a Pollyanna Sunshine😇 (just ignore my first paragraph, I'm over it already) I like to look for the silver lining in my co-citizens flinging shit at me at me for three weeks during a pandemic in the middle of winter because they've got cops and politicians on their side for some reason that escapes.💩

But if old age ain't no place for sissies, neither is democracy, and we can't have the army called in to quash every attack on civil society/our country (regardless of it being funded by American fascists and the like) when it's already stretched to the max (thanks a lot, sexual assaulters) our government being called out for not meeting its NATO commitments by every Tom, Dick and Donald Trump, noted supporter of said attack on our country costing us a couple of Bs (for billions).👀

So I took the Mr. Rogers' lesson, which is to look for the helpers, starting with myself when random panic attacks made it clear I was internalizing a lot of problems in the world that are not mine alone to solve, and went to the doctor.😷

I should know as a mother, you always put your own oxygen mask on first, so you live to save your children's lives, which is why I'm a Sober Sally (again) on a low dose of fluoxetine to address a baseline anxiety problem that's really been lifelong, meaning I owe the Freedom Convoy one for upping the ante so I finally addressed it. Also bringing me to the realization that substance abuse is just self-medicating in the absence of professional treatment, so how dare anyone judge us for it.👮

But back to the dentist. I had to have two front side teeth extracted when their coverings and a fake tooth they held in place fell off while I was brushing my teeth. That's why I was walking to the bus late yesterday afternoon, a terrible time to schedule a dental appointment, by the way.😓

Anyway, I now have two long fossil-like teeth I insisted on bringing home, much to my dentist's and her assistant's consternation, in a little plastic bag sitting here beside my laptop. They're there to serve as a reminder to Scottish Presbyterian me (clan motto: work hard, then die) that I've lived through a "thing", not nothing, a "thing". The teeth are 2 centimetres long, 1 centimetre wide, and they were pulled out of my mouth.😬

And as if that wasn't enough for one day, I took an OC Transpo bus home.😀

But that's not what this entry is about because this entry is about something my dentist said to me when I commented it must be a long day for her, how does she manage, and why (she's currently on her own with 3 kids, her husband working elsewhere) and she responded, eyes shining above her mask, "I love helping people."💖

And she does, with unfailing kindness and humour. One of our co-citizens living her faith, in her case, Muslim, who reminds me I could stand to be a better person myself. I don't have insurance, nor does my partner, and she's very aware of that and so would no doubt welcome proper dental care for all of us, the most bizarre omission from universal healthcare since eye care, therapy, rehab, etc etc etc. So one wonders who exactly our government thinks it's serving by its failure to provide it lo these many decades now, and just exactly how much needless stress Canadians must put up with before it puts our collective health and well-being first.😖

Because no fair not being either all in with MAiD, so we can at least have a civilized shuffling off this mortal coil, or all in with universal access to ALL our healthcare needs. No, not needs, rights, our healthcare rights. Our banks have been telling us we're richer than we think for years now because we are. So why are we being nickel and dimed to death over our healthcare rights? I'm not getting teeth implants and a bone graft because of the cost. Instead I'm getting a temporary denture. Still expensive but necessary - and not just for looks, which matter, too, dammit! - but to eat and hold my other teeth in place.👹

To paraphrase our handsome Prime Minister, it's 2023, ffs, do better!😠