Busting up the Treehouse

Stop the presses because I think I figured out the whole Jody/Justin/Gerald thing.

Regardless of what Gerald said before about Justin winning the government for the Liberals because he's all that and more, Gerald has always really believed that he was why. And so, instead of backing off after the election, he doubled down.

The first rule of Canadian politics?

Behind every male politician, there's a backroom boy. Americans have their first ladies and beards and whatever, but up here, backroom boys.

Meanwhile, Jody, who got herself elected - just like Justin did except with a lot less charisma and no Gerald tidying up all the loose ends behind the scenes - thought Justin meant all the blah blah about being a team and ministers running their own portfolios and so on and so forth and more of the same etc etc.

And Justin probably thought he meant it, too.

But Gerald knew he didn't. Because that is NOT how the Canadian government has operated for many decades now. It isn't how any of our provincial governments operate, either, although I really just know about Ontario. Power is centralized in the office of the Prime Minister or Premier.

Same deal in opposition party leader offices, too. Been there, watched that.

So far? Watching this government? Only Chrystia knows how to play the game to her advantage.

The thing is, nowadays, girls have their own ambitions. Jody didn't run for public office to be bossed around by Gerald, who didn't run for public office at all. And when Justin took Gerald's side and not hers, she decided, "Fuck you, Justin. You're not all that. I'm all that. You're just another to-the-Canadian-political-manor-born white man with a tattoo. I'm an Indigenous WOMAN. And my dad predicted I'd be Canada's first Indigenous woman Prime Minister, and he's never wrong, so suck it."

But that's considered a no-no in Canadian politics, because even though the team thing is feel good bullshit, everybody's supposed to pretend that it isn't, that it's as real as the need for pipelines.

(Also bullshit but a whole 'nother level of bullshit.)

The thing is, times have changed.

Grrl power is real, boys.

So best get used to it.

Rigged

February 19 update as Fake Cowboy Convoy arrives in Ottawa: In 2012, when oil prices were high and Alberta was flush with cash, the Conservative Party of Canada Prime Minister, Stephen Harper (and we still don't know who funded his leadership campaign), hit the Canadian public service with massive lay-offs. Environment Canada, in particular, was decimated. I was one of those casualties, even though just on term (they let all the terms run out and nobody was renewed). Since 2012 I've never been able to make more than $10K per year.

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So we went to Toronto on the bus this weekend, because the train there was too expensive, returning home to Ottawa on the train though because Ottawans want to go to Toronto more than Torontonians want to come to Ottawa.

I think it's even Winterlude here, too. Of course, I'm not sure there's a way to get to it, given the snow monsoon we just had.

Anyway, it's been a while since I made a trip to The Big Smoke, and we had a lot of fun seeing old internet friends and meeting new internet friends, checking out the food court at 10 Dundas East, listening to jazz over a pint at Grossman's on Saturday and The Rex on Sunday.

Pretty hard not to notice the crisis of homelessness amidst the to and fro, though. The contrast between haves and have nots is glaring, too, way worse (or just different?) from when I lived and worked in downtown Toronto, that's for sure.

And yes, Ottawa has its own crisis of homelessness, its own contrast between haves and have nots.

But no matter because the big riggers of Alberta come first, and although they're not homeless, or even necessarily poor (of course, Ralph Klein took care of that back in the flush days with his free ticket out of town offer, didn't he) they're not making the kind of money they're used to making.

And so, the citizens of the city of Ottawa - because Ottawa's a city, not just a Conservative cuss word - have been instructed by our local CBC news celebrities to find alternate ways to get to work (if we have a job) or stay in if we don't.

Well hey, no problem, because that's pretty much been how it is here in Ottawa anyway.

Except for the lower orders in the public service for whom working from home is not possible (and I'm sorry but if you can work from home than why the fuck are the rest of us paying for you to have an office) and in the retail/service abyss where working from home equals "you're fired - next!"

And homeless citizens, of course.

Make no mistake, holier'n thous, if you're right, and there's a hell, we're ALL going there.

And especially big riggers are going there now.

But hey, I was thinking, if the environmental movement really wants to cut down on greenhouse gas emissions for the rest of us, it should just hold ongoing kickstarters for Albertans in the oil and gas business.

I bet even just 1% off the top would fund at least one climate change adaption project before we all drown or burn.

Multinational Corporate Billionaires Are As Mad As Hell and They're Not Going To Take It Anymore

So I feel like I'm living in an episode of Climate Change Ignorers R Us every time anybody with a microphone says anything about anything now.

The actual city of Ottawa, as opposed to the capital of Canada, experienced a monsoon yesterday.

Except the rain was snow because it's February.

Meanwhile, CBC just informed Ottawans that a convoy of citizens from Alberta is scheduled to arrive here by Tuesday, just when we might be getting a handle on this mess (and Tuesday being the busiest day of the week on public transit) to get federal help dealing with those 170,00 abandoned oil wells that have been polluting the landscape for decades.

Kidding!

They're coming to warn us latte sipping Liberal shirkers here in Ottawa that we need to do something about the Islamic Menace Gang from... Iran? trying to take over the Christian Samaritan Gang's turf in Alberta.

And everywhere. It's trying to take over everywhere.

Except Prince Edward Island because of the red-haired demons.

Kidding!

They're coming here because their bosses in China are telling their bosses here to send them to Ottawa to troll Justin Trudeau until he lets that Huawei spy go.

Kidding!

They're coming here because they want money because EI or social assistance isn't enough to live on if you're used to making a shit ton of money.

Offs, get in line, fake cowboys.

The Ballad of Jody and Justin

Cripes, I'm so terrified of another Conservative government that I've twisted myself into a pretzel over this whole Jody/Justin split.

Honest. I'm not into Justin.

I'm just really not into Andrew Scheer.

Scheer Madness is what we're playing with here - Scheer Madness.

No. Please, NDP. Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

Maybe I'm crazy but wasn't everybody and her Uncle Tom shitting all over Jody Wilson-Raybauld just a short time ago for making our justice system worse instead of better and doubling down on all the disgusting American imports Harper shoved into it before - oh happy happy day - he finally lost and then slithered off to lead Fascists International or whatever?

Consecutive life sentences. Mandatory minimums. Inverting our entire system of justice to make it all about victims and vengeance.

Well bring on the former Hon. JW-R and a cut to preliminary hearings.

Here are just a few random quotes from REAL lawyers, the ones doing criminal defence, at the time of the former Hon. JW-R's much awaited reforms:

“an utter and complete betrayal”;
"an erosion of procedural safeguards that gravely misses the mark";
"a regressive blindside”; and finally,
“worse than anything Harper ever did".

And wtf was that assisted suicide legislation all about, anyway? Cripes, it was so craptacular by the time the former Hon. JW-R was through with it that the Liberal MP who drafted it couldn't bring himself to vote for it. Does it help anybody? All I've heard about are people it's hurt. Indeed, as far as I can tell, we don't really have a physician assisted dying option in this country at all. We just have a heads up that we'd best make the necessary arrangements elsewhere because, odds are, we're none of us going to quality for physician assisted dying in Canada.

And don't get me started on that buzzkilling marijuana legislation. Geez Louise. Reefer Madness much? And where the hell are the pardons? Marijuana should never have been illegal in the first place! It was only ever because of racism that it was!

And since Mulroney's still walking around free as a bird, and my neighbours are being scammed by door-to-door energy and/or water filtration and/or meat distribution companies and/or Rogers every other day, and I just got cut off healthcare because our so-called Premier, Drug Fraud, decided to un-grandfather my health card - to paraphrase Melanie's Zara jacket: I really don't care about SNC Lavalin (aka Crooks R Us) being brought to justice - do you?

Of course you do. Because you want Scheer Madness. The world doesn't suck enough for you yet I guess. Or maybe you just want to hasten the Apocalyse because you're a Christian nutter like Scheer Madness.

We don't have separation of church and state now. Just imagine when we have Scheer Madness.

Take a good look at that caucus and tell me I'm wrong.

We don't even clear our fucking sidewalks anymore here in Ottawa. And good luck trying to sort anything out with our government or any of its private partners in these technologically-driven times of zero accountability unless your complaint to Go Public gets aired on CBC. Jesus, I couldn't give a rat's ass whether our government prosecutes a bunch of crooked engineers or not.

Cripes, if it wasn't for crooked engineers Quebec would still be forest.

Well? What? Wouldn't it?

Okay. I'm done here for tonight. Nothing more to read here. Carry on. As you were. Don't stand still outside or you'll be a snow mountain in seconds.

Speaking of which, Scheer Madness is assuring the cult that he'll copy Drug Fraud on the whole pwn the libs game Conservatives play now 24/7 by abandoning carbon pricing and letting everybody just pollute for free again.

Wake me up when it's over.

Low Pressure System

I like winter because there's no pressure to enjoy it. And I'm sort of a survivalist at heart, I think.

Endure is my motto.

But it's tough when the weather is news and not just weather. And how I'm faring as an able-bodied Ottawan who doesn't suffer mentally or emotionally from winter - because S.A.D. is real - is, quite frankly, not very well.

After all, I can't pretend that I don't know how hard it must be for other Ottawans when I can barely navigate the outdoors myself, can I.

It's depressing. We don't live on islands of independence. We live in communities. Communities where some members don't have to worry about anything while other members have to worry about everything.

I guess I'm in-between the people who don't have to worry about anything and the people who have to worry about everything.

How do people who don't have to worry about anything deal with the guilt? I mean, I feel guilty and I have to worry about...well.. the polar bears showing up in that Russian town, for starters.

Because that's just it, isn't it. If you have decent accommodation, a way to pay for it, and no worries about where your next meal is coming from, how different are you from the 1%?

My friend believes it all goes 'round but that now is actually better than ever for more people than it isn't. And that's great, I guess.

For people who can afford a little privacy in comfort.

But tell it to the people who can't.

Then tell it to the polar bears who've migrated into that little Russian town because their normal habitat is disappearing under their paws.

I had a job recently where it felt like I was the only employee who had to show up to work to be paid. Because I was. Everybody else was on salary, I was by the hour. Those were my favourite days, too, when everybody else worked from home, because I had nothing to do, the job was a nothing burger, and if no one else was there, I didn't have to pretend that it wasn't.

I went to the CBC website and that was pretty much it, though.

I learned something on those days, too, aside from how boring the CBC website is, and it was that boredom is stressful, and there's nothing more boring than not being able to do ANYTHING because nobody wants to admit that there's no work for you to do. The job I'd had before it? I was so crazy busy I worked for free - in spite of my marxist leninism.

But it was so much better, being challenged like that. Terrifyingly fun.

It paid less per hour and was much higher level than the job that followed it, too.

But nothing in the world of work really makes sense, does it. I mean, unless you're trying to get rid of the world of work, you're just feeding the beast in one way or another.

I used to think doctors and nurses were the exception to that, doing good by keeping us alive. But all you have to do is spend time in a nursing home to realize that they're actually the worst. It's terrible, really, what the medical profession mostly does, which is keep people alive who want to die.

The ego of the medical professional is like no other ego on earth, I've decided.

Oh, and Gord forbid marijuana pudding should be dessert because, "Oh no then why did we go to medical school to learn to prescribe all these horrible drugs that interact with other horrible drugs and keep people who want to die alive and having no fun at all?!"

There isn't actually a dementia crisis, you know. They're all hallucinating, nursing home residents, because the drugs they're on do nothing to prevent the urinary tract infections they all end up getting.

Why?

Because diapers are even cheaper than labour. It would be very expensive to actually look after older people in nursing homes.

Cripes, we don't even clear the sidewalks of ice and snow for middle-age people just trying to get to work, we're apparently so broke now.

By the way, tomorrow is Snowmeggedon (again) in Ottawa so be careful out there.

Be Best

I'm really enjoying the trickle up effect of the Mueller investigation because regardless of what happens to Donald Trump (although one of the Trump/Russia Twitter people I read ends all his tweets to @realDonaldTrump with "You're going to prison, traitor", so...) lots of rich people are having their dirty laundry aired to be judged by the rabble, or what Fran Lebowitz calls us, which is "vox populi".

No need to wait for death the great leveler anymore - we've got social media chock-a-block with dick pics now!

But up here in smug Canadaville it's interesting learning from our very own goody two shoes government how dependent our economic survival apparently is on corrupt companies getting all our government's contracts forever and ever amen.

Also, is it just me? Or is our new Attorney General trolling us, blah blahing in the House while wearing those cartoonishly large glasses.

Randy Rainbow? Is he trolling Randy Rainbow? Because I doubt Randy Rainbow is paying any attention. He's got way bigger fish to fry down south.

What?

Meanwhile, I've read at least three super boring articles about what an Attorney General is supposed to do if there's political interference in a criminal prosecution, which is resign, so there's that to add to this latest scandal in Ottawa.

Is everybody too big to fail now?

What?

Haha, and veterans sure are getting a lesson in where they stand, eh?

What?

But I just gave up a fight before it even started rather than deal with a government agency (rhymes with KPMG, I mean, CRA) even though I was entitled to almost three hundred dollars in poverty cashback, because I decided it wasn't worth it to me.

I know, eh? But that's how I roll now. Besides, I figure it will just stay in the pot and I'll get it back later in guaranteed income security when I'm old.

Older.

Also, I'm on the Freedom 85 plan, so there'll be a ton of interest attached to it. Yup, that's right. I just tossed the whole concept of retirement so I wouldn't have to waste time worrying about having no pension or savings to retire on when I'm 65.

Anyway, it's too bad that Liberal Party politicians and their backroom boys never learn the lesson about where their vested interest once in power really lies, which is in governing for the public good (like everybody's watching). Instead they think it lies in getting themselves re-elected, governing for the public good (like everybody's watching) being a dead weight they decide to toss off the ship of state after the bus ride to the swearing in has been all over CBC for a few weeks.

It's like they think they're all Stephen Harper and nobody will ever know who funded their leadership campaign.

Sorry, Liberal politicians. But only Stephen Harper gets to play that game.

Speaking of transportation (ship of state/bus ride back there a bit), local councilors here in Ottawa just completed some sort of annual week long public transit challenge. Honestly, you'd never know public transit users have been losing paid work for years in Ottawa because we can't get to it either reasonably or reliably enough on public transit. I mean, I've been to public service job interviews in the city of Ottawa that took two hours on two different buses to get to. And I live well within the city of Ottawa, not at all far out of downtown. And it wasn't winter when buses just don't show to pick up customers who would otherwise pay twice for the pleasure, via our taxes and then again with our fare. It was summer.

Not that I stood a hope in hell of getting the job anyway but still. Keep moving or they'll paint over you as the saying goes.

Or put you in jail for loitering, I suppose. Did the previous Liberal government of Ontario ever correct any of the previous Progressive Conservative government of Ontario criminalizing of poverty nastiness while it legalized door-to-door energy company fraud?

Anybody? Anybody? Wynne?

Please wake up and pay attention stupid greedy old people and stop voting Conservative.

What?

So, to the nub of it, I just have one question for our federal Liberal Party politicians before the idiot voters of Canada go several levels worse and elect the Conservative Party of Canada to finish us off financially once and for all: Is there a more corrupt company than SNC Lavalin you could give all our government contracts to, do you think?

Us economic survivalists would like to know.

Whatever Happened to Topless Photos...

Not that I'm not totally enjoying today's hilarious episode of that 24/7 reality show running south of the border: "Famously Rich Dudes Exposing Exposing Their Genitalia".

I mean, I never think of Jeff Bezos on my own, but when he looms into view via our famously rich dude obsessed media, I just think of him being like a Ken doll down there. You know? I think of all famously rich dudes as being like a Ken doll down there.

Right? I mean, what kind of man needs a billion dollars? We know why a woman might, because we have a hard time knowing when enough is enough, you know, because men. But a man?

That's why I likes me a plucky pauper, I do.

Oh.

Sorry kids - TMI.

Again.