Once, when my kids were much younger than they are now, like two decades or so ago, I was getting something in the kitchen when I banged my head on an open cupboard door.
It hurt like a motherfucker but I didn't call the cupboard a motherfucker.
I called it a cunt. After, "Fuck you shit damned bastard." Then "cunt". So, "Fuck you shit damned bastard cunt!"
Then I crouched down on the floor with my throbbing head in my hands and said, "Don't anybody move or say a word."
It was a motherfucker of a head butt with that cunt of a cupboard door.
Fortunately, this happened after we'd all been on a road trip and my kids heard the mother of a bunch of boys sitting near us in the Taco Bell, a mother who was dressed like she was on her way to church - in 1955 - say, "Look, you fucking little shits, get in the goddamned car! We're going home and we're going home fucking now! I don't care if you're done your goddamned milkshakes! Get a fucking moving on! Jesus fucking Christ! You're driving me fucking nuts!"
My kids thought it was hilarious and she was known forever after as the swearing mom, a streak I did not manage to interrupt, so shocking was it to them when I hit my head on a cupboard and a string of pent-up cuss words spilled out.
They survived. And in answer as to why I would prefer that they not swear in public like I'd just sworn in private I said, "Because it hurts old people's feelings."
It's a great thing to say to kids when they're young so that they don't do what you do by saying what you say when you hit your head on a cunt of a cupboard. Kids don't like the thought of hurting old people's feelings because they don't know that old people can be sexist racist motherfuckers like Donald Trump. They think old people are kindly and caring like the old people in all those movies they grow up watching over and over and over.
Sorry, but I was a homemaker, actually at home with my kids. You try being at home all day with your kids, making no money to show for it, and watching other adults' eyes glaze over when you're at a party and they ask what you do and you say, "I'm a homemaker". Sharon, Lois and Bram - my best and only friends - were better role models than I could ever be, what with banging my head on motherfucking cupboard doors and screaming, "Fuck you shit damned bastard cunt!"
By the way, I noticed that Donald Trump claimed Rashida Tlaib brought "dishonour to her family" when she told her cheering eight year old son, "We're gonna impeach the motherfucker!" Well, I don't know if anybody out there has suggested it or not, but I know why he chose those words. He thinks that because she's a woman and a Muslim that the men in her family will kill her now.
C'mon. You know it. He would never have used the word "dishonour" otherwise.
That's how much of a motherfucker he is.
Anyway, my take on Donald Trump is this - if you haven't been target of his hate - while he's supposedly the most powerful white man in the world - so if you're not brown or a Muslim or a woman, you should just shut the fuck up about Rashida Tlaib calling him a motherfucker.
She did it for you, too, after all. Because a sexist racist motherfucker of a fake president isn't doing you any favours, ya motherfucking dumbass.
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