Hey Women - Fuck Off - Nobody Likes You

I've been reading a lot of articles lately about likability because there are women in the Democratic race for the nomination for president and apparently they all have a problem of likability but especially Elizabeth Warren.

Elizabeth Warren is even less likable than Hillary Clinton.

Get outta here, Elizabeth Warren. Nobody likes you even more than nobody likes Hillary Clinton.

Theories as to why we don't like Democratic women running for the nomination to be president are occasionally in the articles. One is "he's gotta be a guy ya wanna sit down and have a beer with".

Well nobody wants to sit down and have a beer with a woman, that much is obvious to anyone. And especially nobody wants to sit down and have a beer with Elizabeth Warren.

Jesus Christ the beer would probably curdle. And then blood would start pouring out her, well, I guess not even that, she's so old. But it's unthinkable just the same.

Do it. Think about sitting down and having a beer with Elizabeth Warren and see if your nethers don't shrivel up and maybe even fall off and then frogs start dropping from the sky.

(I'd suggest stronger framed glasses and longer hair and bigger breasts and going back in time and not taking advantage of a subsidy not intended to benefit her and oh never mind my vagina just dried up and blew away.)

Anyway, at first I thought maybe nobody likes politicians and it just looks like we don't like women when women are trying to get elected to public office of various and sundry. But we like men politicians. Especially if they're tall, white, and older. Then we like them so much we want them to rub us all over and kiss us and maybe even put their penis in our mouth when we're sitting down and having a beer with them.

It's true! We like Joe Biden no matter what he says or does. We just do. And who doesn't want to sit down and have a beer with Donald Trump or Ted Cruz on the other side of the great divide, too.

And Bernie Sanders. Come on. You know it. Beer/Bernie = Likable. It's only natural.

It's so natural I've stopped pretending it's everybody else and not me. Maybe you should, too.

So, because it can't be that we just don't like politicians on account of there are all these likable men politicians we want to sit down and have a beer with, I started looking around and I realized, oh my Gord, everybody doesn't like women everywhere.

My Blond Companion does a good job of faking it and for that I'm grateful but c'mon, let's face it, he doesn't "like" me. I'm a woman. How could he? And it's not his or anybody's fault, either, it's mine and women's fault.

Why?

Because women just aren't likable.

Oh my goodness that was liberating. I even felt a little fizz go up my spine. I'm going to shorten that sentence and type it again.

Women aren't likable.

Ooh. One more time.

Women aren't likable.

Okay, whoa.

I hope that was as good for you as it was for me.